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Parent Support

We want to support you to be successful at the 'hardest job in the world'

We want to support you to be successful at the 'hardest job in the world' 1 Shirley Conroy- Learning Catalyst

Our full time learning catalyst is always happy to meet you for a cup of tea and a chat.

Don't let a small problem become a big one. Like we say to the children - 'Talk and we'll listen'.

Children with Additional Needs and Disability Healthy Child Team 0-19 Years

 

At Bishop's CE Primary Academy we regularly host

 

The Solihull Approach to Parenting

Understanding Your Child's Behaviour

This is a free 10 week course  run in The Hub covering

  • Child development
  • Why children behave the way they do
  • Why children have tantrums and sulk
  • and more

It also gives you a chance to meet other parents

and share experiences

 

Keep a look out for details of the next course.

If you are interested contact Sarah, Shirley or

leave a message in the school office.

Parenting Tips On....

Spending Special Time With Your Child

· Follow your child’s suggestions and interests

· Praise and encourage your child’s ideas and  creativity. Don’t criticize.

· Be an attentive and appreciative audience

· Notice their accomplishments and help them feel important.

· Encourage your child to problem solve. Curb your desire to offer too much help.

· Show enthusiasm for special time that you spend with your child

· Don’t make too many demands

· Don’t compete with your child

· Have fun and laugh (a lot!)

Helping to Understand Social, Emotional and Persistence Coaching

 

· Look out for times that you can coach your child

· Remember to offer comments about their efforts at sharing and getting along with others

· Be an attentive and appreciative audience

· Model and talk about your own feelings and emotions

· Encourage your child to understand their feelings by naming them.

· Help your child to keep going with tasks, even when they seem hard.  Help them if needed.

· Don’t ask them to do things that are very difficult

Praise

· Catch your child being good—don’t save praise for perfect behaviour—it’s the effort not the outcome

· Don’t worry that you will spoil your children with praise

· The more difficult the child—the more praise they need

· Give labelled and specific praise

· Praise with smiles, eye-contact and enthusiasm, high-fives, hugs etc

· Praise immediately, consistently  and positively

· Praise in front of others

· Don’t forget to praise  others and yourself!

Tangible Rewards

· Tell the child clearly what is appropriate   behaviour

· Make the steps small and achievable

· Don’t make reward charts too complex—only one or two behaviours to start

· Focus on positive behaviours—don’t mix with punishments

· Choose free or inexpensive rewards and   reward every few days

· Involve your child in choosing the rewards

· Get the behaviour first and then reward!

· Gradually replace rewards with praise

· Be clear and specific about rewards

· Reward everyday achievements

· Show that you expect success

Rules, Responsibilities and Routines

· Children thrive on clear expectations

· Rules make life easier—but where possible make positive rules

· All children can be responsible for chores—but they must be age/development appropriate

· We all need predictability—routines help this

· Involve your child setting rules—they will feel that they own them

· Negotiate what chores you would like your child to do—but don’t let them walk over you!

· Be firm—but not overbearing

· Show that you expect compliance

Limit setting

· Don’t give unnecessary commands

· Make one request at a time

· Be realistic in your expectations

· Use ‘do’ requests

·  Make requests positive, polite & to the point

· Don’t use ‘stop’ commands

· Give children ample opportunity to comply

· Give warnings & helpful reminders

· Don’t threaten children—use ‘when...then’ commands

· Give options where possible

· Support your partner’s requests

· Praise compliance

· Encourage problem-solving

Ignoring Misbehaviour

· Avoid eye contact and discussion

· Physically move away from the child, but stay near enough to see them

· Be subtle in the way you ignore

· Be prepared for testing

·  Be consistent

· Return attention as soon as misbehaviour stops

· Combine distractions with ignoring

· Choose specific behaviours to ignore and make sure they are ones you CAN ignore

· Limit the number of behaviours to ignore

· Give lots of attention to positive behaviours

Children's Anger

· Notice when your child is starting to get   angry or frustrated

· Encourage them to talk about their feelings

· Model how to manage ‘Tell yourself to STOP, calm down and take 3 big breaths’

· Encourage your child to use positive thoughts ‘I can handle this,’ ‘everyone makes mistakes’

·  Praise your child’s self-control and appropriate expressions of feelings when they do manage

· Model how you manage your anger so the child learns

Your Stress and Anger

· Scan your body for tension, breathe and relax

· Notice any negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones

· Ask yourself if what is making you tense is really that important.  Will it make a difference a week from now? A year?

· Visualise something special from the past or a dream for the future

·  In the middle of a conflict, breathe deeply and try to cool off. 

· Take a break (go for a walk ,have a bath, read a book)

· Regularly plan things that are just for you (or with your partner)

Time Out

· Use when behaviours cannot be ignored

· Be prepared for testing

· Expect repeated learning trials

· Ignore the child while in time out

·  Support a partner’s use of time out

· Ensure you complete time out

· Use consistently for chosen misbehaviours

· Give warnings that time out is coming

· Aim for 2 minutes calm at the end

· Make child responsible for messes caused during time out

· Ignore screaming, whining etc while in time out

· Praise positive behaviour as soon as possible after

Calming Down Strategies

· When your child is calm practice taking deep breaths and praise your child by telling him he is very strong at calming down

· Notice times when your child stays calm in frustrating situations and praise her for her patience and calmness

· Use emotion coaching and comment on times you child is happy, excited, curious, calm, angry and frustrated.  Try to comment on more happy feelings than sad ones.

· Model staying calm  yourself in frustrating situations—take a deep breath and say ‘I can calm down’ in front of your child

Consequences

· Make consequences age-appropriate and fair

· Be sure that you can live with the consequences you set up

· Make consequences immediate

· Discuss consequences ahead of time and give child choices if possible

·  Make consequences natural and non-vengeful

· Be calm and positive

· Use consequences that are short and to the point

· Quickly offer new learning experiences to be successful

· Once the consequence is over start again with a clean slate

Losing Control

Points to Remember  When You Feel Like You’re Out Of Control

Step back & ask

· What is my goal?

· What am I doing now?

· Is it helping me reach my goal?

·  Do I need to do things differently?

Practice this relaxation technique

· Slow down your breathing

· Count from 1 to 10 as far as you are able in a single breath

· Repeat deep slow breathing & counting until you feel relaxed

Recognise your upsetting thoughts & re-phrase them into calm ones

Tantrums

· Remember they are normal as the child wants independence

· They happen because the child does not have enough language to communicate

· Stay calm while your child storms

· Don’t try to reason or distract them—it will make it worse

·  Stay near your child—but ignore them

· Wait until they calm and then return your attention immediately

· No matter how long it lasts don't give in

· If they begin to hurt someone pick them up and move them  without comment

· Think about why they are having a tantrum

 

 

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